ray of light

I noticed a ray of light recently,
that appeared in places I least expect.
always catching me by surprise
but there's nothing wrong with that.
when I try to search and seek
it appears to be far, far away, unable to attain
and just as I stop yearning
it comes out of the blue and I start over again
my heart beats in disarray
yet it brings a smile to my face,
however when I look in the mirror
I start to feel so out of place
melancholy takes over
for something so beautiful can't possibly belong to me
for who can bottle a ray of light?
to keep for his eyes only to see
am I destined to remain in the background?
for it does not know that I yearn
even if for a fleeting second
for its glow that warms but does not burn
can I do anything to ease the pain?
when in my own eyes I feel so small
a mountain to surmount, an ocean to cross
I feel like next to all these I am nothing at all
but still quietly I long for and patiently I wait
for a glimpse of perfection, for a touch of fate

let the last last,

sometimes i wonder if people have stopped caring, or if people never really cared in the first place.

okay, i admit that playing second fiddle, bench warmer, substitute, back up, whatever. it sucks.

sometimes i think i'm so great when i let people step all over me? and then i silently applaud myself...alone.

the nice ones finish last. so how long can i last?